Why Women Don't Consider Adoption... (& What We Can Do to Help)
- Natasha Entrup
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
According to Heartbeat International affiliate data, less than 1% of women who carry their children to term choose adoption. If many women struggle with the idea of abortion, but don't feel fit/want to parent... doesn't it seem logical to consider their third option?
While it may seem cut and dry at first thought, when taking into account the common misconceptions surrounding adoption, it is no wonder many women shy away from this choice.
"Putting my child up for adoption makes me a bad/selfish mom."
The first thing to note is the language used here. When discussing adoption, we always steer away from saying "put up" or "give away". These phrases are widely associated with abandonment, and no mother wants to feel like she is abandoning her child. Instead, we use phrases such as "place for adoption" or "create an adoption plan". These phrases hold a connotation of maturity and respect.
"I don't want my child to end up in the foster care system."
Many people do not understand the difference between adoption and foster care. Though there is overlap, the purposes of adoption and foster care are very distinct. Foster care is meant to be a temporary placement for children whose parents still maintain parental rights. 71-74% children in foster care are not eligible to be adopted. However, adoption is permanent placement in a home and the transfer of parental rights to the adoptive family.
"If I choose adoption, I can never see my child again."
Though moms who choose adoption do not have parental rights, they can choose the level of "openness" the adoption has. Unlike in previous years, birth moms often still have some level of contact with their children. Although there is always grief in the adoption process, knowing she can still have a relationship with her child can help ease the pain of this loss. Completely closed adoption is rare and often advised against. Today, approximately 95% of adoptions are considered "open".
"Choosing adoption means I am a failure."
It is important to present adoption as a loving, selfless, and heroic option. In the adoption story, the birth mom is just as much of a hero as the family who adopts her baby. It takes a great deal of sacrificial love to offer your child a life you are unable to provide. Though we use the term "birth mom" to differentiate, we call our clients simply "mom", as she is no less of a mother to her baby because she chose adoption. She is strong and brave!
We aim to address adoption with all of our clients, especially those considering abortion. Sharing the truth in love, we hope she will consider adoption as a viable option for her child. We are currently working with 2 Christ-centered adoption agencies in our region, and are committed to walking alongside of our clients every step of the way. That is true empowerment!